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#WhyIDidntReport - I did. Here's What Happened.



#WhyIDidntReport TRIGGERING CONTENT

I did. MULTIPLE TIMES. TO MULTIPLE HELPING AGENCIES WHO MADE IT CLEAR I WAS NOT WORTH THEIR TIME. I reported the first one and you can imagine by looking at the posts in the hashtag how that went for me. So I didn't report so many of the brutal rapes in the game until I almost died. Something shook me and I had an opportunity and I took it. "Maybe this time." And then an official brutalized me again and took away everything I had left after giving me so much hope that someone somewhere would finally answer to a single iota of what has been done. Did you know that abusers routinely gaslight their victims by telling you that no one cares. "No one will believe you." "No one gives a crap about you." "You and your precious family will be long dead before anyone starts to care." So when a survivor comes in to report, and we hear just that from "helpers," our abusers were right. You may remember the post I made about being attacked in an on campus elevator. There was video evidence, eyewitnesses, and everything. Well, I reported that one....and quickly remembered why its not a good idea after meeting with someone and talking to a campus officer, so I dropped the case and recanted quickly to move on with my life before system could take away any more of my soul.

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I get how hard this is for you to read. It's pretty hard to type, so I'm going to take a break. Let's take a few deep breaths and power through this. Visualize a beautiful place for a few seconds of bliss. Put a cat or a doggo on your lap. Stare at something beautiful for 5 seconds, looking at the details, the lines, she shape. Now come back to the post. You can get through this.

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Yes, I want survivors to report so that we can get some of these bad guys off the street. No victim, no case. Trust me. We get that. But the backlash of reporting is too high in a system that places no value on survivors of sexual violence. We can't put all of these expectations and pressures on survivors and their supports, while simultaneously killing their souls. Get a new system, there might be a different outcome.

It should not be an expectation of survivors to prevent rape of the next person.  A rapist is going to rape because they choose to rape. A jewel thief chooses to steal jewels, and then they steal the jewels. Its power and control. Its the age old value that those perceived as the weaker gender/race/age/sexualorientation/ability/etc deserve what's coming to them by someone who has deemed themself the ruler of all that is beings.


Why don't we first focus on the actions of the rapist? Why isn't it believe survivors first? Ever noticed how those putting reports in for murder or property crimes are never questioned about how they continued to flash themselves or the property stolen???? Notice how the question never comes up if the murder victim or victim of a property crime had been drinking???


Nothing I have put in this post is new information. If you take the time to read how many posts are a part of the hashtag #WhyIDidntReport, you will see MILLIONS others with similar stories. I credit the brave souls who came before me, those in the game with me, and those enduring it now for the information we have. There are some EPIC resources at your fingertips. Start with Google and see where that takes you.


Here are some places you can start:

RAINN Org - National Resources 

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

National Organization for Victim Assistance

National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women

The National Center for Victims of Crime

National Children’s Alliance

National Coalition against Domestic Violence

CAVANET

National Disability Rights Network

End Rape on Campus

Malesurvivor.org

GLBTQ Domestic Violence Project

National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs

The Trevor Project

National Human Trafficking Resource Center

National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center

The Date Safe Project


 The links for all these resources (and more) are available at the very handy link:

https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones

This story is the property of K.T. Wings, shared with permission to Youth Trust Project ONLY for the purposes of awareness and education. Thank you for listening and for respecting this survivor story. Please do not attempt to use this story without the permission of the survivor. For inquiries on how you can utilize the Youth Trust Project Blog as a platform for your voice and your story,  EMAIL Allison Owen, Director of Community Outreach at aowen@youthtrustproject.org.

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